i am not really in good mood these few times.. maybe these days are jus my bad days like the ass-prof from nus said.
but wadever is it. it seems unfulfilling in terms of studying.

however, i had a pleasant surprise tonight at the night festival. did not expect the fireworks at all...

i am tired though. rly tired.
hope that i can jus sleep for days first before engaging the new mountain to climb.

 going offline for the rest of e months except wkends.
bye!

 i shall attempt to make a long post here as i have not done that since a long time.

past blog posts were just meaningless posts talking bout things only i understand.

maybe i shall get down-to-earth here!(:

past one month has definitely been a life journey for me, in terms of weight,

i have no idea what my body is doing, but i seem to be down in weight, but i haf ate 

carls junior for bout 3 times this mth, and definitely more den 5 times of subway.

that aside, my past weekends have practically been spent at SMU, studying. 

Its a great place to hang out for me, as its convenient and entertainment is everywhere.

Though i have been there so often, my revision has not even started, it has all been just 

homework.

That aside, my past few weeks have been really busy, but people hearing this will jus say tat i am always busy. but this time i will rly talk bout some academic journeys i have been thru.

I went for the NHSS interview, and got rejected. And i am particularly unhappy as i felt that i did perform. Most probably i made a mistake in one of the questions, which was quite servere. Congrats to shenna & Jia Hao though! Moving on, i have started the MPS(Meet-e-people-session) with Miss Penny Low. She is really experience and good. DPM Teo Chee Hean came by last monday and i had a little debate with him, which had a futile outcome. Today was spent at NUS & RI. The NUS USP 'orientation' was quite insightful, and made me reconsider my goals for my undergrad studies. The S Dhanabalam talk was some what unexpected, though certain points mentioned by him and other VIPs confirmed some of my mindsets.

On the whole, i have taken a step into the academic/ aliitle political realm. This has really made me think alot. Jeremy has been extremely helpful too, giving me great ideas and perspectives of life. 

I dare say, the failure in NHSS has made me reflect & reassess myself. The past month have allowed me to understand human nature better in particular, and even myself. However, though i feel that it is meaningful knowing such things, i wish that i could just carry on for a period of life that does not require me to consider such factors. 

Life for the following few months will definitely get more tiring, but what i hope is a absolute enlightnment.

Hopefully tml can watch angels & demons!!!

 I HAVE DAMN ALOT OF THINGS TO SAY MAN...
but i shall jus state one out of e 2 things.
ytd, i went 85 to eat with family.
this is one place that impresses me.
people complaining bout the bad service and wadever.
the workers here are jus so helpful...
i am grateful and awed.

nxt..teo chee hean...u shld jus ans my qn.
waste my time telling me things i know
though u are rly a brilliant guy, jus let me have what i want.

bye! i am tired after a day of hw and mps(:

 done another week at skl.
haha.
it feels like u are doing jail time.
of cos its much easier.
and not a fair comparasion.

anw,
alot of things just come and go.
how will i ever embrace my life man..
hah...
sian...
got 21/38 for spa, wth rite. shld really start studying.
today chem strech and excel was tiring.
interviewing was tiring too.
but made me think more bout myself though.

physio is still as enjoyable.
i am a person who is easily made happy when he sees accomplished people doing things
maybe thats y physio is enjoyable for me.

lots to talk about in my life
at this moment.
hmm.
many changes are taking place.

guess they shall jus remain within me.
hahah
okok

nite.

 the heart is never rational....
always diong things against logical reasonings.

lost.

 went pool, went shopping for formal wear. 
difficult to find man...as in smth that i like.
haiz.
dno la.
tired.
nite

 this whole week i have not done anything. 
lots to do tonight.
lots to say.
but i am off.

disturbed

 went to watch e mall cop show. not sure wad to expect, but was quite satisfied.

set me thinking, though it was not much of a thinking show.
jus enjoyed the time like theres no tml.
hope my life will be like that next time.

nite!

 am in the middle of the blog test.
two more papers to go.
the tests are not my priority.

have you thought that pressure, is pretty much a destructive force?

calmness is only achieved if one understands the true meaning of life.

anw.
1 whole week has passed with the blink of an eye.
time rly flies, had my last proper training ytd. and i did a big joke.
even the coach was like wtf.
anw. i bet i will miss going to yishun.
but with that done away with, i definitely will have more time for everything.
or i assume. cos in e end i am busy with dno wadever things.

have been thinking bout e nhss, and bout studies. 
who doesnt think about it man. i feel that its quite alrite studying, but its jus performing, that is problematic.

wad exactly affects a student's life. only 4 things; or 3 for most students: studies/cca, friends, love life. family(optional)

what exactly am i driving at i rly dont know.
but i guess what i am saying is that theres virtually nth much to be worried about

it will be best for me to answer.

 it was nice jus now man....
nvr felt so relaxed before.
maybe cos it was my first time out since long...

anw, cant stand taking the mrt.
jus keep waiting for the moment to spot  a glimpse of you

Just recieved the letter from IPSC today.
are the teachers/ school just expecting too much from me, or am i not pushing myself hard enough?
i know now, i am putting in effort in school, but not totally. When will i get started?
when i get enough rest , or when i finish my a div?
if i were to join the summit, will i be the outcast, being e worst in academic?

on a side note, just hope i am able to communicate and dare to talk to you.

 spent much of my time with school now a days. who isnt? especially if u study in JC.

went for family dinner on sat, wth ..was a joke... but ok la...good to see everyone getting well with each other.

been thinking much about my A levels, after e j3s took back their results.
kind of pressured by the teachers who want me to also perform for my block test man.
and i am the weakest-ling in class. wadever.

i think its time for me to really start reflecting myself, since much of my time is jus flying by, being too busy.

k.bye

 hi. 
i am at e airport studying now, overnight, 
HAHA..
and i am damn disturbed by something that i am seeing.
i am at tosto, and evan is sitting directly opposite me, with some underage girl( i mean younger).
and wtf are they doing here at his hour man, especially she is like studying-,-...
damn sick and pissed of by the sight.
especially cos the girl is still quite nice looking and presentable. 

moving on, 
i just cant sem to move on mentaly, with the fact that i have to learn to cope with this shit and busy lifestyle. 
and i just cant stop thinking bout you.
though it is clearly impossible.


is there anyone out there who can seriously save me from this situation?
hopefully things can get better.

though i am clearly doubtful.

aiya...life is sickening.

today was fun at TM though, learned moreabout how one should dress, and maybe i can look more cool next time huh?
haaha..wad a joke.

done here. may blog later.;.

bye

 jus read lam's post, and i do have same sentiments bout my class.
or rather myself.
am frustrated with me and my workload, as i have not been doing much for skl work.
feel that i disappoint mr gan alot. and i am getting the feel that i have created too much bad 
impressions with my behaviour infront of teachers esp miss hua. and she still sits with miss fau,
who is my cca teacher, who is incharge of the scholarships.
time.
time is just what we need.
yet time is not everytihng.

anw, 
love is definitely in the air
cos when i on e mrt back home, jus only, so many couples, and like got so many girls dressed in dresses
and ya.
yet, love is not looming in my class, or many people whom i know.
sad huh?

hopeless
helpless
'homeless'

(my attempt at the literary device which i dno called wad)
though its my heart that is homeless

ever since school reopen, i have been pretty much neglecting myself and my work.
especially this week, i have not been doing much of home work and jus doing other stuff.
if i do further elaborate, people will just think i am bragging on how much things i do.
cos i myself feel that i am bragging.
though i really am jus trying to cope with my events in life.
today went skl late cos i was doing e fcking econs quiz. den.
after skl went for e rehearsal...
not that i want to say ..but fazall was insulting me la.
though in daily life, i do crap, but i dont emcee much events. but i doubt i am as bad as he thinks.
nvm... rushed to cca recruitment.
the club was rather cooperative. i really ought to thank them properly.
yet e stupid thing is that at least 100 people came for e trials.
den we went late for training
den.
f. bus 39 nvr come. wanted take cab. den came.
den we reached there.
no lanes.
wtf.
den coach zhang , gave her 5mins lecture which lasted 20mins.
den got weapons out, and did dry fire, nvr shoot any fucking bullet.
wth.
come home do e econs quiz fuck till now
nvr do any home work at all.


how long can i cope with this lifestyle, i 'm seriously wondering.

 woah. second day of orientation over.
i am damn unhappy bout e squeeze of my life now
i got tm tml and orientation tml and i nid practicce for next wednesday's budget quiz.
and i nid go training on sun
#@$%
and fauzana wanted me to go training just now...wth la...

i rly dont know what i am doing now.
i nid do the TM speech. which i dno what i am going to do and what kind of tone i gonna set.

anw, there has been disappointment in the side of affection.

bad things happened. maybe i am just too sensitive to every actions every remarks.
but. stop it. or feelings will change and love remains the same (;

HAHAHA.
cool rite.
bye

had chingay for the past 2 days it was fun and stupid.
mixed with those hcjc retards....laugh at everything i said-,-
but nevertheless it was sort of fun. got to usher dick lee, and saw goh ct right infront of me.
but i think the highlights are best left unspoken
HAHA.

i want the pictures but they are all not with me.

anw. nxtwk is orientation.... i hope i dont unleash too much of my crap like i did during chingay.
cos it jus appears too fake.

we shall see how it goes.
but goin skl at 645 is no joke.
damn

blog later 

bye!

 hi...went to the 3rd bbq for the week.
i am a bbq expert man... i can admit that.
anw...
as time passes, the feeling jus disappears know?

its just  like that. thats why people in love will always miss the partner. 
some even fear of loosing them. 

how you know what i mean. its a difficult life ahead, a difficult year.
hopefully all these difficulties can be topics for us to broach.
hopefully, in the new year, i wll know just get closer to the friends i am already comfortable with
and meet more people whom i like to meet ;)